I can’t wait to leave San Diego. Every time I go to downtown or near Mira Mesa, all I think about is you. I remember sitting in the back seat with you and just smiling. Life was so simple. I remember watching you apply make up. You were so screwed up in a beautiful way. I followed your shadow and sometimes glide along side. You don’t know how happy I was when you called me your sister. I miss you.
When I got that message on Labor Day weekend, my heart dropped. My body shivered and hoped this was all a joke. Panicking. Trying to catch my breath, I contacted mom. Shaking. I emailed dad. I didn’t know what to do. The house was empty. I had just cried myself to sleep the night before from a broken heart. I had no one to run to. That.. Was the scariest day of my life. The second one was when I got a phone call about someone finding a body. I was outside of Boiling Crab, surrounded by friends that have been trying to cheer me up. I waited and hoped that it wasn’t you. That you were still walking around somewhere, lost and confused… I lost my faith that year.
This year, I found it again. I just want you to know. I’m doing okay. I’m better.
But I’ll still miss you everyday and more on holidays.